WHAT IS EMPATHY? HOW TO LIVE AS AN EMPATH?
March 22, 2015, by Laura Marie of the Harmonic Universe Academy.
When a soul incarnates in the physical world and manifests itself through a physical body so as to live in the physical dimension (3rd dimension), it forgets its true nature and ends up in the illusion of the "matrix" and of separation (from everything that surrounds it). It sees itself as separated from other humans, from animals, from plants, from the morning dew; while in reality it is still connected to the Whole. But because of the many veils that were placed in front of its eyes, it has forgotten, and most of the time, has become disconnected from its other perceptions (what resides beyond what meets the eyes). Like so, the individual evolving through this physical body, thinks that what he does to others can not have an impact upon himself. He thinks what he does unto animals can not have an impact upon himself, nor upon the rest of the world. Nor upon the plants. He walks by trees in his street every morning without even noticing them, nor honouring their presence, believing they are "due" or simple "ornaments" deprived of any consciousness. He can cut through trunks without emotion, decimate forests, burn, spray chemicals without feeling any of the disharmony it entails.
For the disconnected individual, life is but individualism, it is about getting by as best we can ("the survival of the fittest"), and providing for our personal needs. There is "us" and there are "the others". There is "us" and "them". No feeling of fusion with the Whole is ever experienced nor felt. The illusion of separation of the matrix has been perfectly executed upon these individuals. Oftentimes, these individuals "disconnected" from their true nature, have a predominant "negative" ego, and the social, racial, religious identifcation, or of any other form of conditioning or belief, is very pronounced. The individual, thus trapped into his beliefs, sees himself as separated from his neighbours, from the pig he eats in slices, from the cow he eats in burgers, from the cow's calf he deprived from milk when drinking his morning hot chocolate, from the rabbit he wears as a hoodie. These people can watch documentaries and observe the consequences their actions may have upon other humans or animals, and yet carry on. They are unable to put themselves into somebody else's shoes, and it would in fact not even come close to their minds, so much the level of separation between them and "the others" is huge. This gives them the illusion of being absolutely not responsible of what they do, say or even think. In short, they live on a planet ruled upon "community" and "communion", as if they were alone. Which gives birth to all the malfunctioning we can observe upon the world (wars, human and animal abuse, destruction of the environment and depleting of vital resources, etc.).
Empaths not only feel emotions but also the suffering of others. They make one with any person, or group of persons, or animals upon which they place their attention (even if not necessarily near them physically). The fusion is instantaneous and goes beyond compassion, they BECOME the other, and FEEL in their body, physically and/or emotionally (depending on their degree of empathy) the emotions and suffering of others as if they were them. They are others' equal, or others may even become more important than their own self, whom they will forget right away so much the fusion is total. Their consciousness has fused with that of the other so as to make one. Empaths can therefore, in some cases, "sacrifce" themselves for someone else, since in those moments of fusion, they are totally dis-identifed from their own identity, and the survival of others, or the end of their suffering becomes their ultimate priority. This is not even a conscious or wilful process, it is instantaneous for empaths, without a need to decide, nor to "make an efort". It is automatic, simply because the empaths, unlike others, have not lost their connection to the Whole. They are this Whole.
But just like hypersensitivity, empathy within the matrix (i.e. within the society of humans disconnected from their true nature) is seen as a "weakness", a "flaw" or a "problem". A human "succeeding" within the matrix is a human disconnected from his emotions. "Strength" in the matrix is associated to the absence of feelings, while the left brain is the king of the matrix, the right brain on the other hand, as well as all that relates to the emotional, is to be fled or even pointed at, considered a weakness or flaw. These qualities are then pointed at and even seen as diseases, not only amongst women (feminine polarity), even though it is their primary function within the universe to bring about sensitivity, empathy, creativity and the emotional values; but even more so amongst men. Like so, a man who cries is considered a weak being. A man wishing to defend women is called "gay", and a man who no longer desires to eat animals will not be considered "a true man". Those who control this world are perfectly aware of the power of emotions and the connection between humans, and have thus made every effort towards "inverting" all human values, making fashionable everything that is unhealthy and against nature. Like so, humans have become educated and formatted so they always choose other people's opinion over their own feelings and values, constantly suppressing what is within them, their own truth, in the hopes of "fitting in the mould" and never being "different". Rather than understanding they were born with an extraordinary ability of piercing through the veils of the matrix since birth and of feeling this connection with the Whole, Empaths will then believe they have a problem, they will be ashamed of these abilities and may even take medication so as to numb the suffering from being rejected, mocked and from being different. Often, they will wish for these abilities to be "removed" as they will see them as a punishment or a horrible weight to carry - wishing above all else to be "just like anybody else". They may often hear comments such as "you are too sensitive", "you are not Mother Theresa", "stop wanting to save the World", "control yourself" or "you will never make it being so sensitive or weak". They may look at others and wonder how they do it, how do they do for not being hurt for animals, for other humans' suffering, and wonder what is their problem, why can't they not be hurt too. Sometimes, they may even make every effort so as to no longer be an empath, only to realise one can not remove such things. Empathy is within us and can not go away, because it just is part of us empaths, but also because: THERE IS A REASON FOR US TO BE SO.
Empathy and compassion are the highest states of intuitive connection with the entire Universe. It is one of the greatest ability humans can have. Many mammals are also able of empathy, including rodents. For instance, a rat who has learnt to press a button in order to get food will stop feeding if he notices his action (pressing the button) is linked to giving an electric shock to another rat. A dolphin, though able to kill by a simple hit of its tail, will let itself get caught or even die, rather than killing a human (which often observed during the slaughters in Japan). And if you are a real empath, it is likely that this sentence alone will have made you tear up (as with the picture of the lions), because by reading these words alone you have fused with the dolphin instantly and felt his noble spirit as well as his suffering... If an external, not empathic person would arrive at this time they would not be able to understand: how can one cry by simply thinking of something they are not experiencing themselves and probably never will? This is true empathy. It breaks any boundaries racial, social, ethnic, of species... as well as every physical boundaries. The fusion takes place on another level than the "physical" and this why with our "thoughts" alone, we are able to connect with others and fuse with them. Like so, we may fuse with any other consciousness.
Difficulties for the empath.
Even if you are not an empath yourself, you can now easily imagine the difficult sides of feeling such a strong connection with everything that surrounds us, in a World like ours that is so disconnected and causes so much suffering to the beings inhabiting it. And if you are an empath, no need to explain, you know well already and this may be the reason why you have often wished to no longer be so empathic, to no longer feel anything, so much the suffering can be intense at times.
Risks and difficulties for the empath:
- Constantly fusing with others without being able to control it, at times when we do not wish to do so, or when we are already energetically weakened: in the subway, at work, at home, in our relationship, while watching movies or the news. Empathy, if not wilfully controlled at least some part, can be very heavy to bear on a daily basis. Indeed, a single human can not bear alone all the World's problems and all the thoughts and ailments of all humans... Empaths' work will thus be about learning to sometimes unplug their empathy on purpose...
- Forgetting ourselves and loosing our own identity and personality through constant fusion with others for we can perceive their every thought. We can also be tempted to align to what they want (since we are able to feel it very clearly) and so to create a "false identity" modelled to their will. It is like so that empaths can totally loose themselves in a love relationship, or that an empathic child can be overtly dominated by his parents or even abused, or that an empathic individual can loose his personality and struggle to say what he thinks when in a group, knowing in advance the thoughts or comments that will entail (empaths often also suffer from rejection and/or abandonment wounds, that are precisely what have allowed them to understand others later, this gives way to an "ideal" combination for abuse and lack of personal boundaries, the complete loss of the self).
- Not being able to say no and impose boundaries. Since they have the ability to feel everything in others, emotions but also thoughts, empaths will often be tempted to prioritise the well being and will of others since they can see it, rather than their own. They will thus oftentimes put their own feelings, needs and wills aside and will often say "yes" so as to please others and will rarely manage to say "no". Being able to instantly feel the effects their "no" will have upon others, they may therefore no longer be able to say no in order to prevent others from feeling what they have immediately felt by simply imagining saying no to them. They would rather "sacrifce" themselves out of empathy. Empaths will indeed always choose to suffer themselves rather than cause any sort of suffering or discomfort to others (no matter how small the discomfort... it could even be as simple as a dish to choose at the restaurant). It is the most difficult thing for empaths, to be able to say no, as well as setting boundaries and affirming their own will. This is one of the most challenging thing for them, since in order to manage to do so they must, in those cases, learn to go against their own nature (to disconnect from others and come back into their own perspective). Yet, they will learn it is essential in such a disconnected society, if they do not wish to destroy themselves and if they want to be able to fulfil the mission they are responsible for as empaths (as we will see further below).
- Becoming "fearful" of others, of what we see and watch for "fear" of taking in others' emotions or their negative energies, placing ourselves as "victims" of our empathy and victims of others, thinking we are more likely to be attacked than others, that we are "weaker" than others "because of" our empathy, and seeing ourselves as someone "very small" and "fragile" facing the "great sharks of this World" (i.e. "the others"). As soon as empaths place themselves as victims of their empathy, they are no longer in their full power and will therefore be in a vibration insufficiently high to allow them to avoid suffering from it, but also to enable them to create a positive reality.
- Thinking we do not belong to this World, that we are here "by mistake". Rejecting our incarnation or rejecting who we are. Which ties back to the previous point: the vibration of powerlessness , which is the lowest one on the scale of emotions (right above the vibration of death, zero). [I (Melissa) wrote a blogpost on the topic: Feelings of Powerlessness]. Individuals rejecting themselves thus become sort of prematurely "dead". Recovering one's power is crucial for empaths (and for any human in general for that matter).
What empathy allows for:
Seeing everything we just talked about, and in a simple "logical" approach, it is easy to understand what the quality of empathy brings to the World. When we make one with others, it becomes impossible or at least very difficult to hurt them. If all humans were connected with each other and with the other species, then none of the greatest problems we can witness upon the Earth could exist: paedophilia, prostitution, animals slaughters for our fashion, our entertainment and our food, rape, abuses, pollution of the air, the Earth and the seas, food
intoxication, violence, wars... since all of these are but the result of the behaviours of humans who are entirely disconnected from what surrounds them. This is the reason why once again, those who control this world (or at least who try to control it), more than anything else, wish for empathy to not spread amongst humans, and they do everything in their power to, on the contrary, cause more disconnection amongst humans, animals and plants. They do so through developing technology at the expenses of humans (transhumanism, the machine-man), through chemicals in the food (pesticides) and encouraging the consumption of processed and unnatural products so as to increase the disconnection from nature and from foods natural and original to men - through which the light and vital life force is supposedly transmitted; through the mainstreaming of and desensitising to violence via movies and series, through the hypersexualisation of women, making them but "objects" (pornography becoming more and more violent and disconnected, and the industries of music and movies becoming more and more degrading for women too) and so once again disconnected from feelings and emotions, as well as self-respect and respect of others.
Empaths, on the other hand, need to feel connected with the Whole, without this connection they wither. They have no interest in being happy alone, they want to share their happiness and help those who suffer. They are unable to do unto anyone what they would not wish to be subjected to. They consider animals as highly evolved and sentient beings, for they are able to feel them, they never had a doubt. They also fuse with nature, the sea, the forests, the mountains, the rivers, the rocks, the sun. They feel the particles and the essence of everything that surrounds them, all the way through their very own cells. They are then much more difficult to corrupt, since they would go as far as sacrificing themselves for others. Therefore, they are not good elements for the matrix, which is what is important to understand.
How to live in as empaths this disconnected World?
The question is then, how can we manage to use the "good side" of empathy, without being subjected to the "bad one"? How can we succeed in making the most of this wonderful quality, without enduring the difficult consequences?
1/ The priority for empaths is to RECLAIM THEIR POWER. Empathy is not a flaw, nor a defect, nor a mental disease: it is a sign of a highly advanced spiritual state, of extra-sensorial abilities and of connection to the Whole. It is therefore important to fully integrate this within us. This is not about feeling "superior"
either, but to simply no longer consider ourselves as INFERIOR or as having a problem or a malfunction. Empathy should be the NATURAL state of human beings. On the contrary, it is humans who are not empathic who are those who have not fully developed their intuitive abilities and are still sleeping under the veils of the illusion of separation in the physical matrix.
2/ Empaths more than anybody else, must be wary of their VIBRATION since if they do not know how to control their empathy and vibration, they act like "sponges" with the vibrations of others. When with another person, they will not only perceive the person's emotions and thoughts, but will also be able to take in their "vibration" (if they do not consciously seek to maintain their own). We all emit a particular "vibrational frequency" and if empaths are not careful, they can mimic the vibration of the other person they are with or hear (through music, phone calls, etc.), or even to whom they think about. Everything being a matter of vibration, a vibration does not need a physical contact to be infuenced. The thought itself can greatly modify our vibration. Therefore, empaths will have to be wary of maintaining a vibration as high as possible (through foods, thoughts, clothings, activities, etc.) so as to be the most efficient possible in their actions for the World (as they do not have this quality "by chance", it is always because they must use it in service to the World). Empaths who are "overwhelmed" by their empathy are no longer efficient empaths for their mission and for the World. Efficient empaths are the ones able to maintain their vibration high all the while remaining in compassion for others so as to understand them and thus help them, but WITHOUT going down to their vibrational level, nor their level of despair. In order to maintain their vibration high in regards to their actions for others, empaths must learn to be gentle with themselves, to nurture themselves, to treat themselves, they must be careful with their lifestyle, and always make sure to balance their harsh mission (of helping through understanding) with joy, by finding activities that will allow them to experience joy (otherwise they will succumb to negative emotions too easily and too often). Empaths must not be afraid to appear "thoughtless" or "selfish" to others, or even to themselves, when taking part in activities less "serious" and more "light-hearted" at times; they simply do not have a choice since if this balance is not maintained, their vibration will drop and they will no longer be efficient both in the process of creation of their own reality, as well as for the World.
3/ Learning to master their empathy and to no longer absorb all the World's suffering (disconnecting it at times). A single person, as we saw above, can not bear the entirety of the World's problems. Each Soul gifted with
empathy, having successfully avoided the veils of illusions, choses to incarnate so as to have an impact upon the World in their own field, at their own scale, and in their own way. No Soul, has for mission to save all other Souls, as it would simply be impossible. Therefore, it is important for empaths to truly integrate this reality deep within them, as sad as it might be, for it is what it is: they will not be able to "save" everyone. Throughout their existence, many humans and animals will die and suffer before their eyes. Their duty is thus to accept this, as they have no other choice but to do so, and then to recover their full power so as to become able to efficiently act: using their empathy in the field(s) they are drawn to act upon (following their most profound joy and the causes calling them: abused women, injured animals, children, disabled people, etc.) and wilfully disconnect their empathy from other causes. It is very difficult for them, but they have no other choice, otherwise they will take no action for none of these causes, as they will become too weakened by the weight of their systemic empathy. A good technique is to imagine (for thoughts being create) that we can activate and deactivate our empathy simply by pressing a button on our temple (or elsewhere). Like so, we now decide to activate our ability to fuse with others ONLY when NECESSARY, and the rest of the time we remain in our own perspective.
4/ Recover our own Identity. Empaths tend to fuse with other consciousnesses around them, and will thus tend to also "loose themselves" and to become lost in the masses. They will therefore need to recover their true identity and essence if they want to recover their full power, to be respected and to find their joy. Even though "we are all connected" and we "all make one", we do decide to incarnate under a unique perspective and a unique essence that makes us up (our Soul), and denying this identity is also denying our Soul and its distinctive characteristics. Just like animals who are connected to the "collective consciousness" but each still have their own personality (our cat is very diferent from the neighbour's cat). Empaths must find again their true essence, reconnect to their Soul and learn to respect who they are. To do so, when there is no "danger" or "crucial help" situation, empaths must learn not to be constantly connected to others, and to "remain in their own body". They must learn to remain in their own perspective, since they came to experience this unique perspective and not someone else's. Like so, empaths need to be on their own regularly and have their own space to connect with themselves.
5/ Learn to say no and set boundaries. Once again, this is probably the most difficult part for empaths, but nevertheless the most "vital" if they do not want to end up self-destructing. Self-sacrifce ends where our own destruction or "damaging" begins... No cause, nor anybody can justify that we destroy ourselves for it. The goal is to manage to vibrate high enough so as to have a positive impact upon others, or upon a cause, not having to drop our vibration. And to do so, just like we will need to tune our empathy off at times so as to remain alive and not overwhelmed, we will have to learn to say "no" to certain people or certain things. This is called "setting healthy boundaries", setting our own limits. Setting boundaries does not mean wanting to control what the external world does or does not do, it is rather: defining what WE accept and what we do not. This implies to reconnect with our OWN emotions (and not those of others), and to respect what our own emotions tell us. Learning to no longer be afraid nor ashamed to show who we truly are and to say our thoughts out loud so as to respect our integrity and values, remaining aligned. Each time someone crosses our line, it is because we ourselves have not respected our own boundaries... we must therefore establish those boundaries again... And once again, setting boundaries does not mean telling others what they should or should not do, but to respect what WE want and do not want. Besides, those who respect themselves are always more respected by others.
Take the time to grab a paper and write down everything your ability of empathy allows in your life and in the World. Make a list as long as possible, so that you realise the great benefits for yourself and for the World of being an empath. For instance, it could be about not having many conflicts since we understand others, about being close to animals and to feel a communion with them as well as with nature, about feeling alive, full of life thanks to this connection with the Whole, about realising better than anyone else the Beauty of Life. Understand that if you were not an empath, you might indeed not have the "inconvenience" of empathy, but you would not have the innumerable benefits either, which are worth all the gold in the World.
Empathy is a wonderful gift that allows us much ability to communicate, to make ourselves understood, and to help others. It can be difficult to handle when we view it as a "burden" and not as the extraordinary ability that it is, when we "victimise" ourselves rather than EMPOWER ourselves through being connected to the Whole. Empaths also often forget they are lucky to be able to experience ALL the emotions of others and
the vibrations of the Universe, and therefore not only the "negative" emotions and things (of low frequencies) of this World, but also all the happiness, the Beauty and all the magic it is made of, knowing that in the Universe Beauty outweighs darkness. Empaths must therefore keep in mind they can consciously move their focus so as to also fuse with Beauty, with the Greatness of the Universe, its Light, and with all the truly miraculous aspects of LIFE. Like so, they will reconnect with the true STRENGTH they are made of and that drives them, so as to place their abilities of Service to Humanity, all the while remaining a master and not a victim of such abilities. They have recovered their full power and are now using it consciously and in full awareness of its strength and usefulness.
Original article by Laura Marie translated from French by Melissa Deer. Written French version currently unavailable due to hacking of the Harmonic Universe Academy website - links will be added as soon as available.